I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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