So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
