The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
