after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
