Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
