awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
