How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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