Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
