next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Then you guys just all showered together...?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
