so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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