Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
