I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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