I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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