WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
