Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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