Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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