if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
