You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
