You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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