I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize