Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There r osticjed everywhere
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
