I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
