How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
