Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
