I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
