He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
