Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
