Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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