you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
