dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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