I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
