@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Randomize
