dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
