I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
