I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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