I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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