WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
