she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
