It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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