The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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