We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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