"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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