i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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