I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
