he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
