That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
