no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
