she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
