So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
