i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
