Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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