Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just had sex bonerless
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think my nap took me to another dimension
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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